State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
