your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize