I like my sex mixed with concussions.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
