It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
