If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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