It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
