real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize