I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
