i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
