Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
