I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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