he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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