I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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