help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
