I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
