he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
