just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
