dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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