Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Porn is love you can see.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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