What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize