what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
