MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize