that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
