i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
