i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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