if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
