As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
