I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
