seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize