scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
