How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize