summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
