Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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