she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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