so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
