she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
