I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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