you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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