she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
