yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
