no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
