in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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