We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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