no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you had me at cake vodka
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
