Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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