Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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