just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
