your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
