Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
