Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
