Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
