Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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