So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
