if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
