clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
