If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
