Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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