just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
