thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
